October 7, 2005

Is this exile?

This past week has been a rough one. We’ve now been here just over a month and I’m starting to wonder when we will get to go home. I’ve had enough of adventures, enough of the new. I’m reading this series of books where the main characters have been exiled from their homeland. I’ve started feeling like I too am an exile. (A little melodramatic, no?)

Living in Atlanta still doesn’t feel real, especially when I spend most of my days at home or in my small neighborhood. I feel like I should have a sense of place by now, a sense of community, that I should be making more friends, meeting more people. I guess I’m starting to feel lonely (that’s big from an introvert such as myself).

I’m really struggling to find my own identity in this new city, in this new life. I feel like I should have it all figured out by now. I know that we only just arrived and that I’m giving myself a hard time but still it is hard to stave off the self doubt.

I need to find more work, more activities to fill my time and more people to talk to. It is hard to stay focused and disciplined with no outside structure. I’ve decided that finding more work and buying a bicycle are on the top of my list for the coming days.

4 Comments

  1. M, don’t beat yourself up. 1 month is not a long time at all and it’s really hard to feel “at home” or have it all together anywhere. I think once you have a routine down, you’ll be wishing for all this free time. My advice, enjoy the silence, the newness, and the adventure because you know that it won’t last for long. I know it’s easier said than done but I know it’ll all turn out good.

    Comment by Rosie — October 8, 2005 @ 10:30 pm

  2. moving to a new city is hard. and fun. and hard. the key, i have found, is learning to tolerate the lonely feelings because you know they will go away. with time.

    and it does take time. all things must pass :)

    Comment by Lnet — October 9, 2005 @ 10:44 pm

  3. M – I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling right now. I feel like I should be out, but I want to call friends to go out with me. Exploring a new place doesn’t seem as fun when you can’t turn to the person next to you and say, “Isn’t that great? ” Well, I guess you could say that to the person next to you, but they may think you’re crazy. I’m getting really tired of saying, “Guess you had to be there.” We have restock our inventories of favorite places. It seems like I had just accomplished this in Madison and now I’m doing it all over again. Keep your head up! and I will, too. Enjoy having an excuse to go to any restaurant you see, because you’ve never been to any of them before.

    Comment by katie — October 11, 2005 @ 11:45 am

  4. It takes awhile. I’ve made 2 big state-to-state moves in my adult life. The move from Iowa to Wisconsin went well and was pretty easy. The move from Wisc to Michigan has been tough. We’ve been here a year and a half now (it’s a year in our house this month), and it’s still not quite home. But it’s getting there. I say the W word less and less every month! Recently I read that it can take 2 years to really settle in. I’ve found that it gets better by degrees, until one day you find yourself giving someone else directions, or running into somebody at the grocery store and talking for 5 minutes about what to have for dinner.

    :^) H

    Comment by Haus — October 15, 2005 @ 11:57 pm

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