Student Skin

I came back from Christmas in Madison with grand schemes and motivation run rampant. I have been so busy doing that I haven’t had any time for reflecting.

After a long talk with an old roommate I realized that I should go back to grad school, not just talk about the possibility but really do it. There is a program, actually two, here in Atlanta, that would fit my needs exactly. The deadline for applications for enrollment in the Fall of 2006 is Feb. 1.

I immediately signed-up for the GRE. I gave myself nine days to prepare for testing. This was all the time I had if I wanted to get my scores in by the end of the month. I crammed for it, spending my free time reviewing and practicing math problems that I hadn’t considered in many years.

On the day of the test I arrived at the center, extra early, ready to get it over with. The first part of the exam is to write two essays on random topics. As I sat there, staring blankly at my hands, unable to type a word, I noticed how old my hands are looking. These aren’t the same hand that took this exam eight years ago. Then I reached up to rub my face. In the very center of my chin, a giant zit had appeared, just since I had sat down to take the test.

This was a pimple to rival the most enormous ones of my adolescence. Much like the math problems, I hadn’t experienced a break out of this proportion since college. Is this what grad school is going to be like? Am I going to be forced into a strange new world where my body continues to age while at the same time bringing back the worst features of younger years?

I recovered from my panic, finished the test and headed off to work. For various reasons that have become more apparent in the last few days, I am post-poning my application for one year. I am proud of myself for completing the test and doing fairly well, I might add. The zit has disappeared and I’m further along on the path to grad school than before.