December 8, 2006

Going Home

I’ve lived away from my hometown of Madison , Wisconsin, for a little over a year now. I’m still trying to figure out how to do this whole going home thing. As soon as an upcoming trip is brought up I develop a split personality.

One half says, “Ugh, I want to stay here and do the normal thing. This is such a chore.” and “I really think nine days is too long. What are going to do up there for so long?”

Meanwhile the other half is thinking, “There are so many people to see, how am I going to get to see everyone? They are all so wonderful and missed.” and “I’m so excited to be going Home. Why can’t we stay longer?”

It really is exhausting. I miss Madison. I miss my friends, my family, my old life up there. Yet, I’m doing well at setting up a new life down here, making some friends, finding a new rhythm. It is the tug between the two worlds that is so hard. Maybe it gets easier with practice.

3 Comments

  1. I think it stays pretty darn hard. Really hard. It gets easier as you grow away from people, but that has it’s own sadness. I wouldn’t give up moving away, but going back doesn’t get easier.

    Comment by Leah — December 8, 2006 @ 3:16 pm

  2. yes yes. it is so hard. i always used to say that it felt like being yanked. it still does, but not quite so much. and honestly, now that I have started referring to my home in IL as “home”, the yank is not quite as hard. instead of making sure i visit all the PLACES i want to always remember when i get back to madison, i try to not be so crazy busy and make it more of a quality visit.

    i think it has to do with how i have come to conceptualize my trips to WI. I now view them as traveling to some other city I love. I am not sure what has changed, but I think it is because my sense of community is now really strong in my current residence. That helps a lot.

    PS…i am likely applying to internships next year in Atlanta. I have found a really really great one. FYI.

    Comment by lonely1 — December 9, 2006 @ 1:11 am

  3. I was going through some of those same feelings before I left Chicago on Friday. Now its my first time Back since moving. It feels really nice… relaxing! and I’m excited to see you next week. :-)

    Comment by Arielle — December 10, 2006 @ 9:50 pm

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