February 22, 2007

The dress

Thank you for the dress suggestions. I found the perfect dress to get married in. It isn’t a “wedding” dress, but a pretty, fun, flattering dress that could be paired with flashy flip-flops and worn on the beach.

I’m going to crochet a shrug to wear with it. The dress will be a surprise for everyone, expect SB, who helped me pick it out.

Thanks Jeff for the fun clothing link. I love, love, love this coat. The dresses are such retro fun. I think I need more party dresses, don’t you?

I may never

Since my birthday I’ve been feeling fatalistic, plagued by a touch of depression. Nothing serious, kind of like a head cold, an emotional case of the sniffles.

I’ve been thinking, maybe I will never blog again.

I’ve been thinking, maybe I will never get to retire.

I’ve been thinking, there’s no way I will still be working in November.

They are all ridiculous, silly thoughts. It must be the 31-year-old blues.

What I am still very certain about is that I’m getting married in 7 weeks and that makes me smile.

February 4, 2007

My super sweet 31

I received a promotional e-mail from Antropologie this week, filled with fun, summery white dresses. It called out to me, like their stuff always does. I dragged SB up to the mall yesterday to see if they might have the solution to my wedding dress woes. Just like the countless times I’ve walked into this store in the past, disappointment greeted me at first sniff. The place smells like a cheap import store and the quality of construction and fabric is so poor it makes me step back in shame, at the same time their prices are so high, ($250 for a dress that feels like cheesecloth!) it makes my head spin.

I always, always, leave empty handed and disappointed. I need to stop going back, but I can’t. I want that style but I also want quality. Why is this so difficult?

Since we were at the mall I decided we should check some other stores, starting with Macy’s. Macy’s had racks of dressy, besequined gowns on sale racks. Sweet! As soon as I started sifting, the racks were descended upon by hoards of teenage girls. I stayed just ahead of teenage curve and found a dressing room with no wait.

I opened the dressing room door, my first dress on to show SB, only to be greeted by a whole line of teenage girls, all with fancy gowns in hand. Their eyes assessed me in one instant and I could see the decision was bad. They glared at me as I fought my way out to the “waiting” area to show SB. They glared at me all the way back to my dressing room, shooting daggers into my back. I tried on the rest of my dresses without showing SB, as I couldn’t face the judgment on the other side of the door.

Macy’s was a bust and we went on to a few more stores, all of which were crawling with 13-18 year-old girls hunting for gowns that were way too old for their young age. They were buying dresses at $400+ that hung from their child like bodies. At every store they glared at me for getting in their way, and watched disapprovingly as I tried on dresses with my woman size body and my “old” lady skin.

We overheard discussions of boob size and boyfriends, drugs and cars. There were girls with parents, girls with girlfriends and girls by themselves. I’ve never been so happy to be 30 as I was amongst those girls. I’m doubly happy I didn’t grow-up in a super rich southern town. The pressure behind their eyes, the competition in the air sickened me. This is what it is like at the schools of the MTV reality show My Super Sweet 16, where every dress, every event must showcase the wealth and style of these children and the parents stand-by encouragingly.

Through all this shopping angst I came out victorious with a dress that isn’t what I had pictured but is so much better. It is the perfect elopement dress. SB also showed himself to be the ever patient and supportive man that I love, as he stood, towering amongst the teenagers, calmly focused on the goal of finding me the right dress.

This week I turn 31. My adult self is better than I could ever have imagined at age 16.

  • Eating salted avocados with a spoon in Madison.
  • Blogging since 2003.